As many of you probably know, Franz Schubert was a pretty prolific composer of classical music. He created an amazing body of work including 9 symphonies, and several piano solos and compositions. He is now considered one of the best musical minds of his era. Schubert died from Typhoid at the age of 31.
31!
I can't even imagine! It wasn't until that last year that Schubert was even recognized as being the master that he was. His life was cut in half by an unexpected disease, but look at the legacy he left behind! In only 31 years Schubert brought some of the best music the world has known.
And then, being who I am, I thought of myself. If my life got cut short at the age of 31 what kind of legacy would I leave? Not a very good one, I can tell you that. We can't all be Schuberts and Van Goghs, but we can create a legacy of our own. When do you think Schubert started creating his? I'd say since childhood. He took professional lessons from an early age and he worked his whole life to become who he is now. What the Hell have I done to become who I will become? Not a single thing! I don't want to start my life at 25, I want to start my life now! What if I leave this life unexpectedly? I will not leave with peace! I would leave with shame!
Well, surely, something must be done! I need to move things along!
So I want to move back to Idaho. There is nothing for me here. I have wasted away here since I acted out and I have made little progress. I have sat here, stagnant. A failure left to suck on the prodigal teet of parenthood. I am here as a crutch. Well, I'm not broken. I'm in perfect health. I just feel sorry for myself. I am not proactive. I am not active. I have no motivation or self-confidence to talk to a stranger. To stick up for myself. To make new friends. To ask somebody out on a date. To LIVE!!
"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived." ---Thoreau
And so, to suck out the very marrow of life, what am I to do? Get one! I need to
A- live in a city
B- have male role models around me with the same standards I do
C- a singles ward
D- possibly, a support group for people like me consisting of my very best friends?
These things all lead me to Idaho Falls. I want to live! I want to get my self-confidence back. I want to overcome my addictions and have friends. I want romance!
I realize that moving to IF isn't going to solve all my problems. I need more than just a new atmosphere, I need a new attitude. I need to convince myself that I need to take action if I want to be a worthy member of the church, which I do.
So here's the plan. I need to leave New Hampshire with firm footing or I will fall. If I can go without my addictions for a solid month before January, then I will leave. And never come back to stay.
Is that motivation enough? It better be. Hard work is difficult. What was I supposed to expect? A Twinkie? I think not. Life is not a Twinkie, It's 50-lb. bags of whole grain wheat, sugar, and a cow. You need to make the Twinkie yourself.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Relationships: People You Don't Know
The Complete Stranger:
Unless you plan on getting to know them better, do not acknowledge this person. Do not allow this person to acknowledge you without further questioning. They could be a total creep! Them acknowledging your existence could be a way to let their gang buddies know who their gonna target. You have no idea.
The Customer/Employee:
These people are still strangers, although you have an obligation to talk to them in order to get what you want/give them what they want. You do not know this person and may very well never see them again, but they are still people. Never treat them with disrespect, or rudeness. Conversation should always be extremely polite and should include "sir" or "ma'am." Customers' children are also people. Do not ignore them. You, as a customer, are not responsible for treating the employees how you feel you're being treated, in correlation with how good of a job you think they're doing, with enough anger/exasperation to get around the rules to get what you want, or with a condescending attitude.
The Casual Acquaintance:
This is the person who's face you have seen before. You may say hello in the hallway, although you are not required to. You might say "How you doin'?" You don't care about the answer, but it's the lack of thought that counts. At least you asked. You don't just go up to them and laugh at them, or ignore them, or tell other people rumors about them. You might not have any relationship with this person, but what you say can make a difference on how they view themselves. You, as mostly an outsider but not total stranger, act as a valid third party. If you approve of them, and make that evident, they will improve their self-image. Never talk them down.
The Not-So-Casual Acquaintance:
This is the person who you ran into like a brick wall on the subway. You exchanged "Sorry"s and "Excuse Me"s and had a brief laugh over the encounter. This is the person who you seem to always be next to in line at the store. This is the person you got in a car accident with, etc. You share a special connection, but have not been formally introduced, or if you have, you do not see them on a regular basis. You are allowed to touch this person via handshake, or hand to shoulder touch lasting no longer than 5 seconds. Word exchanges such as "Next time, you better watch your step," or "Klutz," or "Hey, watch it," or anything else that indicates fault are not appropriate. In the case of a car accident where fault needs to be discussed, hold temper down and if an agreement cannot be made in 5 minutes, let the insurance companies deal with it. Comments such as "Nice," or "That's cute. That's adorable," or "Well that's great," should be spoken with mild interest, NOT WITH SARCASM. You are being sarcastic, but you do not want to have blame laid down by subtext. Words like "Oh, sorry," or "Oops," or "Hey, I see you here a lot," are satisfactory. Depending on how often you see this person, you may move it up to the next level.
The Friend of a Friend:
You have been formally introduced, but have only seen one another a couple times at a party or something. You share a mutual friend, so supposedly you have something in common with them besides the friend. If put in an awkward situation where the two of you are left alone, small talk must be used. Hopefully the awkward situation can be transformed into the beginnings of a friendship, thereby bringing you, them, and the friend closer together. When you see each other in the hallway you are REQUIRED to acknowledge their presence.
Next Week: Relationships: People You Do Know
Unless you plan on getting to know them better, do not acknowledge this person. Do not allow this person to acknowledge you without further questioning. They could be a total creep! Them acknowledging your existence could be a way to let their gang buddies know who their gonna target. You have no idea.
The Customer/Employee:
These people are still strangers, although you have an obligation to talk to them in order to get what you want/give them what they want. You do not know this person and may very well never see them again, but they are still people. Never treat them with disrespect, or rudeness. Conversation should always be extremely polite and should include "sir" or "ma'am." Customers' children are also people. Do not ignore them. You, as a customer, are not responsible for treating the employees how you feel you're being treated, in correlation with how good of a job you think they're doing, with enough anger/exasperation to get around the rules to get what you want, or with a condescending attitude.
The Casual Acquaintance:
This is the person who's face you have seen before. You may say hello in the hallway, although you are not required to. You might say "How you doin'?" You don't care about the answer, but it's the lack of thought that counts. At least you asked. You don't just go up to them and laugh at them, or ignore them, or tell other people rumors about them. You might not have any relationship with this person, but what you say can make a difference on how they view themselves. You, as mostly an outsider but not total stranger, act as a valid third party. If you approve of them, and make that evident, they will improve their self-image. Never talk them down.
The Not-So-Casual Acquaintance:
This is the person who you ran into like a brick wall on the subway. You exchanged "Sorry"s and "Excuse Me"s and had a brief laugh over the encounter. This is the person who you seem to always be next to in line at the store. This is the person you got in a car accident with, etc. You share a special connection, but have not been formally introduced, or if you have, you do not see them on a regular basis. You are allowed to touch this person via handshake, or hand to shoulder touch lasting no longer than 5 seconds. Word exchanges such as "Next time, you better watch your step," or "Klutz," or "Hey, watch it," or anything else that indicates fault are not appropriate. In the case of a car accident where fault needs to be discussed, hold temper down and if an agreement cannot be made in 5 minutes, let the insurance companies deal with it. Comments such as "Nice," or "That's cute. That's adorable," or "Well that's great," should be spoken with mild interest, NOT WITH SARCASM. You are being sarcastic, but you do not want to have blame laid down by subtext. Words like "Oh, sorry," or "Oops," or "Hey, I see you here a lot," are satisfactory. Depending on how often you see this person, you may move it up to the next level.
The Friend of a Friend:
You have been formally introduced, but have only seen one another a couple times at a party or something. You share a mutual friend, so supposedly you have something in common with them besides the friend. If put in an awkward situation where the two of you are left alone, small talk must be used. Hopefully the awkward situation can be transformed into the beginnings of a friendship, thereby bringing you, them, and the friend closer together. When you see each other in the hallway you are REQUIRED to acknowledge their presence.
Next Week: Relationships: People You Do Know
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